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:iconallivegotarerainbows:
It's an amazing poem. I believe it's a limerick poem? Well, anyway, it has a great impact on me.
It's really nice, but I prefer the rhythm of A,B,A,B...because you can see where the rhyme is.
Other than that, it's a really good poem. I find it difficult to write a limerick poem and there's a story inside of it. Or it's just that I suck at writing limerick poems...oh well.
They want me to write more...I can't...Well, here are some words that I think the poem is...: Magnificent, creates a picture in your head, awesome...and so on. I'm jelly of you because you can write something this amazing.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconsirrahmouse:
SirrahMouse Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're too kind; that's very nice of you to say!
I wasn't going for really any sort of form, per se, with this peice--it was more of a gut thing, feeling like I should get down what I had felt before I forgot it.
But I really am rather glad you like it, and am very pleased that it struck you enough for you to right me such a lovely critique.
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:iconallivegotarerainbows:
allivegotarerainbows Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Student General Artist
Keep going with those gut feelings, maybe one day you will write a poem, that was caused from your gut, and it will be a well-known poem. And I am sounding formal which is not fucking fun...I need to stop now...Oh, and I'm new to writing critiques...most of the time I point out the nice things...
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:iconsirrahmouse:
SirrahMouse Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well, that is my goal--to just write something that'll stay long after I go. ^^ Oh, and it's fine--I'm always glad to have someone say nice things about my writing. xD I don't mind if you say something negative, so long as it's trying to be helpful.
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